I love you dearly baby boy.
Missing you on mothers day. Everyone says happy moms day, but i do not find a lot of happiness when im missing two children whose lives were cut too short to share these memories with. The memories I do have are forever cherished. This pain I feel, no mother should ever know it. Grief is a lonely journey, and only you know what path is right for you; and remember you owe no one any explanations.....not for your anger, sadness, moodiness, wanting to be alone. Do whatever it is you need to do to while on this journey. This is a time to focus on you.
I know this is going to sound silly, but sometimes I sit and wonder just what your day is like in heaven? I'm coping a lil better now; but yet your death still defines me. Trying to move forward....not on but forward. I am unsure whether i really want to....you are on my mind literally 24/7, and I never want that to stop. No other mother has ever loved a son more, than I do you. Your still my baby boy and always will be. I love you son
wishing u were here on earth with me instrad of in heaven.....my heart still aches because of your time with us being shortened.....u r gone but definately not forgotten. you made me proud to be your Mom....on my mind 24/7....literally
When a mother elephant loses her baby, the other elephants stand in a circle around her and allow her all the time she needs ro grieve and mourn. They don't hurry her or pressure her to abandon the body. They gently touch her with their trunks, in silent understanding and unwavering support.
I know many peiple that could learn from elephants and sadly to say most are family members. Take support where you can get it. It can come from surprising places! I do not owe any explanations to anyine about my geief journey nor do I feel i owe any apologies.....if you have stuck by me, you will be around to see the Kristy. i have become......so may its you whoae missing out......gotta wonder....
Missing you badly.....cant get this feeling to leave.....this darkness within me.
In despair everyday without you, Your Mom I know if Trent was here now this is what he would say to each of his sisters. Just know he is still with you through all your journeys.
I love all you girls!! |
Author: Kristy BenitesThrough my blog, I hope to give you a candid look at the life of a grieving mother by sharing journal entries and very personal letters I have written Trent. |