I cherish every memory made with you, my son. But sometimes I wish the memory of that day would escape me. That was the longest two hour drive. Today, I still cannot make that route. Every emotion comes rushing back. That began my nightmare that now defines me. I love you, Trent. Missing you beyond belief!!
I am feeling very alone on this journey. I ask myself why when I live with six other family members, but no one stops to even huge or bother to see what's wrong.
Even after two years, your death still defines me. Devastating does not even begin to describe how horrible losing you is. I'm struggling to move forward, but have not been able to. You will be on of the best chapters of my life! I love you, my sons.
Two years ago today,
God decided it was not for you to stay. You were loved dearly by many. None as much as I; There could never be any! As my son , you were my pride and joy. You were my baby boy. I know your in a better place, but oh how I miss your face. You stole my heart from day one. From then , I knew you were my special son. The one I had waited for. Your death hit me at my core. I'm trying to find the courage to carry on, but I don't know how that you are gone. I love you dearly. This has been a very difficult day; another with no family support. each day shows me more and more this is a lonely journey and many close will not take the time to even text....as their life goes on, I remain stuck and alone. you are missed every second of every day...I am forever changed. I love you my son. Two years ago today,
God decided it was not for you to stay. You were loved dearly by many. None as much as I; There could never be any! As my only son, you were my pride and joy; you were my baby boy. I know you are in a better place, but oh how I miss your face. You stole my heart from day one. From then, I knew you were my special son. the one I had waited for. your death ripped a hole in my core. I'm trying to find the courage to carry on, but I don't know how to that your gone. I love you my son.....today was he'll without you As a grieving mother, the only relief is sleep.....You feel nothing.....your nightmare is gone.....for just a little while....for that few moments you dont feel the pain, the hurt, the guilt....or a short short, while if you are an insomniac like me!
The only time I dont hurt is when im asleep. I dont hurt emotionally while asleep, but being an insomniac is like. adding salt to the wound
Never in my wildest dreams, did I think i woupd have to say goodbye to you. You only had 18 years here with us. Nowhere near enough. I love you so and am proud to call you son.
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Author: Kristy BenitesThrough my blog, I hope to give you a candid look at the life of a grieving mother by sharing journal entries and very personal letters I have written Trent. |